scared.

i'm scared. i'm a coward, who is facing fear. i feel so depressed so lonely. so hurt.
i'm just afraid to let myself be seen. i feel so unwelcomed and sometimes it is better to be facing my inner demons rather than face the world.

i'm afraid to admit my feelings. why can't i just tell you? because i am afraid they will laugh at me. i like you, i truly do. and i wonder, do you really like me too? i just want to know, so i can be sure and i wont look like a fool.

i'm afraid that i wont be able to lie one day. i'm afraid that i would be forced to tell the world my deepest darkest secrets and let the world know how i feel. without lies, i wont be able to run away and have time to think. but with lies, the truth gets much more hyped and soon... everything will spiral out of control...

i'm afraid that everybody would leave me alone. i dont want to be alone. i dont want to have no friends, no family, no people who say they care... i want my loved ones. without them i would feel so lost. i just dont want to.

i'm afraid of loneliness and of fear itself. i wonder... what would happen next?

but these words were spoken in a movie (install??)
there is nobody who has no fear, everybody fears something..


so maybe i should just stop and admit slowly that i like him. maybe they would understand. maybe i should talk to them more. maybe i should be friendlier..

but the thing is, i don't know how.

i'm a coward. a fool. an idiot.

i'm useless